My Story

Candice Alba circa 1990 is I. By sight you would think that I’ve had it good. “She is pretty sane, normal girl; no major problems”. Sike. Truth reveals that no one can really look at another and depict their past, present, or future. That description may in fact be the reflection of myself; a mended, a restored, a new self. Left behind are the scars, frozen tears, and hidden insecurities of the past.
Some of my friends to this day think I should’ve been born I an earlier decade. My parents say I have the heart of an eighty year old. I account my father for most things. Artists such as Carlos Santana, Little Richard, Billy Holiday, Four Tops, War, the Supremes, and Beach Boys were just some of the household names that whisked their way into my soul at a tender age. The music from his prime and even before him was introduced to me as a child in the garage working on old Chevy engines. Yes, I was daddy’s little girl. . . but not the kind that wore tutus and danced around the house. Living with four boys had an effect on my femininity you could say.
Who knew that that same man who gave me the anthem Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison would turn into the reason for songs like Where’d You Go to become so personal? Ray left us four years ago this fathers day. That’s right. Fathers Day. Wounds like that will stay freshly open I believe until I hit the coffin. An absent father, suicidal brother, and typical teenage boy troubles will eventually give a girl trust issues. People often have trouble distinguishing the bull and the truth, who is real and who isn’t. The path that you take finding out is what affects a person. The ability to rebut and take a risk shows throughout the soulful R&B hits heard and gives courage to one who needs caution and strength.
Entering high school changed my perception of myself. The people around me gave me the courage, strength, and pride in myself even if they didn’t know they were. My new attitude was also followed by a new music- a new attitude and style. Inhibitions grew free and confidence gave the light to smile through a mending soul. I’ve realized I am a force to be reckoned with. Stubborn. Fierce. Strong. I realize if I can be happy with myself, I can overcome anything. Jigga Jigga hits is a mix of my past and present. We never know what the present will bring. To some that may be scary, but I love it!

I Am From

I Am From

I am from the archives of my mind
The experiences which make up childhood
I am from the suburbia of
This beautiful city of angels
I am from the city of hopes
Of fulfilled dreams of broken ones
Of romance of history of conspiracy

I am from the small street acre in Northridge
I am from the Disney movies
From belle’s castle, streets of Agraba, down under the sea
I am from the stand in my front yard
Selling the freshly squeezed lemonade
Twenty five cents a cup
I am from the summer days of
Tying the water hose to the slide
of the sky high swing set
I am from my Barbie tricycle
I am from adolescent spice girl choreography
I am from three brothers
I am from the garage working on
Chevy engines with dad

I am from the ranch
the horses run through my veins
I am from the soft leather saddle
Riding everyday on top of the world
One two one two one jump!
Count the strides
I am from the dirt on the ground
After falling; in my shoes
I am from the scrapes the bruises
The falling the crashes

I am from a broken home
I am from tears and fights
Broken dishes and torn down souls
I am from learning and indents
Of perception
I am from abandonment
I am from moving schools
Leaving friends

I am from making mistakes
I am from partying
The piercing music and flashing lights
Uncontrollable nights
I am from the unsafe situations
Of the darkness

I am from learning
Nothing books ever could
I am from a new outlook
A new attitude a new light
I am from knowing what is what
I am from moving the next level
I am from growing up
I am from what I made myself.

Personal Narrative Playlist Poem

Ain’t that funny? Many believe

The exterior depicts the interior.

The depth heart and soul of the core

You would never suspect.

When my dad left there was a time

Where all I wanted was for the man

Who taught me the joys of his generation's music

Please come back home.

A permanent tear in my soul was forever implanted.

The abandonment turnin' my heart into stone

I wanna tell the whole world about a friend of mine
This little light of mine

mom my savior; my path to happiness

and when she wanted me to keep up the grades

She still supported me when I did the opposite

Now I feel like it's things I gotta get

Things I gotta do, just to prove to her

I will do it; through my own self, own dreams. Own goals

And when I'm older, you aint gotta work no more
And Imma get you that mansion that we couldn't afford
See you're, unbreakable, unmistakable

So hey mama, look up; I love you light of my life

Twists and turns. New school. New friends.

Absent father. Suicidal brother. Confusion.

Puts a wall , a boundary. No way I would feel

The way I did again.
He made it so hard

to trust someone

He made it so hard

My skepticism takes over.

Wait. Yeah I’m waitin’ For the one. The one who will

Knock the wall down. One who will wait

Be patient. Teach me how to love

Show me the way to surrender my heart

And take it slow. Prove me wrong

And show me the strength to stick by your side

Those days are over

Cover the frozen tears and scars

I’ve been told you only live once

One must make the best of it and live

In a kind of a daydream

I'm happy as a queen.

Loud, outspoken, blunt and even though

I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally

Own yourself. Hold it high.

I’m going to be remembered. I’m gonna to rock yo world

One day you will see me.

I want to entertain you. Scare and please you at the same time.

Proving them wrong and like what I got